While reading Aleph by Paulo Coelho this afternoon, I came across this part which was really interesting for me (although when you read Mr Coelho’s work, chances are you will experience this quite often 
).
‘Is it possible to fix love and make it stand still in time? Well, we can try, but that would turn our lives into a hell. I haven’t been married for more that twenty years to the same person, because neither she nor I have remained the same. That’s why our relationship is more alive than ever. I don’t expect her to behave as she did when we first met. Nor does she want me to be the person I was shen I found her. Love is beyond time, or rather, love is both time and space, but all focused on one single constantly evloving point – the Aleph.’
‘People aren’t used to that way of thinking. They want everything to stay the same…’
‘…and the consequence of that is pain,’ I say, interrupting the speaker: ‘We are not the person other people wish we were. We are who we decide to be. It’s always easy to blame others. You can spend your entire life blaming the world, but your successes or failures are entirely your own responsibility. You can try to stop time, but it’s a complete waste of energy.’ (Aleph, pages 124-125)
We (sometimes) want everything to be the same. Well, I know I do. When it comes to my relationship with my boyfriend, I often expect him to act like the first time we had a date. Times when we weren’t officially a couple yet, were the sweetest times, or so I thought. I sometimes missed his spontaneous acts, his sweet messages, his surprises and other things I consider as “sweet”. I thought those sweet things were the measurement of his love to me. I jumped into a conclusion that if he wasn’t THAT sweet anymore, it meant that he didn’t REALLY love me as much as he were at the first time.
You see, it’s dangerous to hold on to a thought like that. I leads to disappointment, mistrust and any other negative feelings. And yeah, we had a fight over it. Not only once, but several times. It took me quite some time to realize that the LOVE hasn’t changed at all. It’s how he shows it that develops. He still sends me sweet messages, although not as often as before. But, it doesn’t really matter, since I know how he feels for me. The way he shows affection develops. Of course I love sweet messages and surprises, but the most important thing for me now is knowing that despite all my weaknesses, there’s someone who loves me for who I really am.
After reading this part from Mr Coelho’s book, I was reminded that if I CHANGE my perspective, our relationship will be much more alive. People change. We are always new every day. How fun and exciting it is to view our better half as “someone” new, someone who experiences growth in his/her soul every day, someone who wants to know more about us and experience “NEW” things with us every single day.
Frankly, I’m not used to thinking like this either. I just thought that it’s worth trying. Love is beyond time. Love is fresh every single day. The person we love “changes”. Embrace those changes and celebrate the “new” love every day…
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